JOKE <Snoring?>
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel
room was
taken.
"You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a
bed, I don't
care where."
"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,"
admitted
the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the
truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained
in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."
"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."
The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and
bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager.
"Never better."
The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring,
then?"
"Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine.
"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.
"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the
Marine
explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight,
beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
Treating a lion to death
Infy method:
Hire a lion and ask him to meow like a cat...
he will die eventually of frustration...
TCS method:
Hire a lion, give him hell a lot of work
and pay him government salary, lion dies
of hunger and frustration
IBM's metbod:
Hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an
hour ... he dies of unemployment...
Syntel Method:
Hire a Cat ... assure him that he will
eventually become a
Lion once he reaches onsite, and make sure that
he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....
MBT method:
hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and
tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the
job. lion
dies of the strain?
COSL Method:
hire a lion ..tell him to merge with
Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...lion dies
from
fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....
Polaris Method:
hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL)
...change his timings...(instead of 9 AM...change it
to
8:30 AM) cut down his allowance (coupons etc) lion
dies from
fear of becoming CAT.....
Silverline Method:
hire a lion, declare a scandal and dont
pay him...he dies of hunger...
Quinnox method:
hire the lion. either give him no work or
ask for a premature delivery. Lion either dies of
boredom
or intense physical & mental activity...
Patni method:
hire a lion, give him a salary of a
cat...the lion dies before joining....
Satyam method:
hire a lion, give him net access..no
work..and deport him to
Chennai centre...no water..no
electricity..no hindi speaking
ppl...lion dies in oblivion......
Wipro method:
hire a lion...give him lots of
work...transfer him to
Wipro Lights division..lion dies due to Lightness...
Amdocs method:
hire a lion...frustrate the lion
with tons of COBOL programs.....
never increment salaries....apply all Isrealy
tactics...
lion eventually becomes a cat...
Mastek method:
hire a lion...ask him to align himself
with anything and everything...
ask him to fill complicated competency
forms...differ increments and pay him salary of
a cat... lion dies due to fear of getting mis-aligned
or
starvation...
If You Can...
If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you,
when through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without
resentment,
If you can face the world without
lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without
medical help,
If you
can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of
drugs,
If you can do all these things,
THEN YOU ARE PROBABLY THE FAMILY DOG