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JOKE

This is a story of four people called Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was some important work that had to be done, and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry because of this, since it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody understood that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended with Everybody blaming Somebody as Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Oooops.............Got it? ;)

If You Didn't,  Read Again.

 

SiGnS oF fLiRtInG

*~*Guys*~*

1 She makes eye contact and smiles at you. *

2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny. *

3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you. *

4. She touches your arm when she talks to you. *

5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face. *

6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested. *

7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you. *

8. She criticizes you on a girl you like. *

9. You catch her staring at you. *

10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you. *

11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks about you

a lot. *

12. She knows your phone number and address. *

13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible. *

*~*Girls*~*

1. He stares at you alot. *

2. He hits you a lot. (just play hitting ) *

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Vogue: June 1,1947
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3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a converstaion with you. *

4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mom that day she picked you up from school. *

5. He blew off his buds to go see "Run AwayBride" with you cuz you couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone. *

6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process. *

7. His voice gets softer ("Hey, you") when ever you two talk. *

8. You hung up on him. He called you back. *

9. You where invited by him to a group outing. *

10. He called you to talk about nothing at all. *

11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do snort sometimes which makes you laugh even harder.*

12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation. *

13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes. *

14. He finds every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, butt, thighs, etc.) *

 

 

 

 Discoveries That Men And Women Made

 

The man discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT,

The woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP

The man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,

The woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

The man discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,

The woman discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.

The man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,

The woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

The man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,

The woman discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.

The man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,

The woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.

Thereafter man has discovered and invented a lot of things...

While the women STUCK to shopping. 

 

FOUND IN KITCHENS

 

Clean enough to be healthy

but dirty enough to be happy

 

Kitchen closed - - this chick has had it!

Ring Bell for Maid Service.

If no answer do it yourself!

 

 

So this isn't Home Sweet Home

Adjust!

 

I clean house every other day.

Today is the other day!

If you write in the dust,

please don't date it!

 

~~ I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener! ~~

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I came,

I saw,

I decided

to order

take out

 

If you don't like my standards of cooking.

Lower your standards.

 

  Apology 

My house doesn't always look like this

Some days it's even worse.

 

 

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen,

and this kitchen is delirious.

********

 

 

 

 

  

 

A balanced diet is dark chocolate in one hand

and white chocolate in the other.

~~~~~~~

 

 

If you can laugh at yourself,

you will always be amused.

 

Help keep the kitchen clean

EAT OUT

 

Countless numbers of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

*My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.*

 

Shopping forever Housework, never!

 

Remember only dull women have immaculate houses.


 

View of Moraine Lake with low-lying clouds at one end
View of Moraine Lake with low-lying clouds at one end
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JOKE

: FISHING TRIP Fishing Trip ***

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They had sex for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation... She is speaking in a cheery voice) "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

© 2005 Snehil Shri Shubhankar Banerjee. All rights reserved. Terms of use